Every time I disclose my disability, I make myself vulnerable, because, unfortunately, there are still many prejudices surrounding autism and disabilities in general. Of course, sometimes, disclosing my diagnosis helps people understand and support me better (for example, I have benefitted greatly from the support I have received from the University Disability Service), but at the same time, this is personal information I do not want to share with just anyone.

I have learned to not immediately let people know, except for in appropriate settings (when attending a meeting for disabled students, when meeting my teachers, …). This way I can get to know people a bit first.

Choosing the right time and place is very important. In my experience, it’s best to talk to no more than two people at a time (easier to have a conversation with, than having a large group firing questions at you) and to choose settings I feel comfortable in (e.g. a Café or while going for a walk). For me it’s also important to prepare myself for the different reactions I might get, so that a negative reaction doesn’t throw me off too much.

Some of the reactions I got where very positive:

Well, there are all kinds of people in the world and that’s ok.

You must be glad to have a diagnosis to understand yourself better.

If there’s ever anything I can help you with, let me know.

I don’t know much about autism; can you tell me more?

But some reactions were also difficult, challenging, and problematic:

You don’t look autistic.

Don’t worry, no one will notice.

You can’t be autistic, because … and more

Many people have a preconception of what Autism is and looks like and that’s important to keep in mind. Therefore, I have prepared a few sentences of what to say to get the conversation started. In general, I like people to know about my auditory-processing issues, which mean that my ears and brain don’t coordinate well, so that I often misunderstand what people say and have to ask for clarification and my sensory-processing issues, meaning that I experience sounds as too loud and lights as too bright. Because of that I avoid crowded areas and can come off as antisocial, when in reality I love hanging out with friends – just in quieter settings.

I usually end my explanation with: “Every autistic person is different and there is a lot of mis-information out there, so if you want to know more about me, please feel free to ask.”

This puts the ball in their court. I have done my part and if they are truly interested in me as a person, I give them the option to talk to me, but if they are not interested in further conversations, I don’t have to be worried about haven given away too much about me.